


Leis I Lay

by Ethanol



Category: South Park
Genre: Hope you enjoy, M/M, for you Emm, here you go, i'll get the second and final bit out quick as i can, i'm terrible so, it was going to be a oneshot but
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-02
Packaged: 2019-07-05 23:11:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15873633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ethanol/pseuds/Ethanol
Summary: Butters can't stop daydreaming about that one moment he and Kenny shared walking on that beach at sunset, and his mind has begun to take imaginative liberties to the memory, but to his surprise, it is just another symptom to a ritual he must complete back in the lands of his people, a ritual of love between man and woman.What they do not know however, is that there is no woman in his certain instance, but the waves of love crash onto the shore all the same.





	Leis I Lay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Emmlire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmlire/gifts).



> hello demons, it's me, yo boi
> 
> first of all i'd like to say I'm sorry and Happy birthday to my friend, Emmlire! im happy to say that this little short story is dedicated to her, and a way of thanks for all the talks we shared! aaaandd it's also an apology because i got screwed with timezones and couldn't post this in time and im very very sorry em 
> 
> i'll get chapter 2 out as quick as i can, but for now i hope this makes up for it and you enjoy, the rest of you too!

"Yeah, oh, I like that Ben Affleck guy! He's a good filmmaker. Come on, Kenny, I guess I owe the kids at school an apology." Butters chuckled, and stepped onto the beach with Kenny, bathed in the warm orange glow of the sun setting along the wide horizon.

Side by side, their sandals left imprints on the sand as they walked, the two blonds conversed happily. Butters bouncing on his feet while Kenny kept a lax pace in comparison.

"Did you see Argo, Kenny? It's a pretty good movie. Ben Affleck has a lot goin' for him. Not everything, but a lot!" The bleach-blond chirped happily, prompting a smirk to play across the sandy-blond's face, a chuckle escaping him when the shorter boy jumped, exclaiming a happy _Whoopie!_

 _"That was quite the one-eighty you took there, Butterball,"_ Kenny remarked lightheartedly, the other boy understanding his words even though its majority were muffled and incomprehensible, but Butters could understand, and as the radiant rays of sunset shone on the orange-clad boy, he could see how his eyes lit up against the orange glow, as if he wasn’t covered in the color enough.

Cool and salty winds from the sea blew windward onto the shore, rustling up the beautifully arranged Leis the two blonds wore around their necks, and that silly grass wreath Ken' has around his head. Sure, he looked a bit extra, but Butters thought it looked good on him.

He wouldn't lie, anything would look good on the taller blond, so as long as he could look at him.

 _"Honorary Hawaiian,"_ Kenny mumbled with a laugh, his mesmerizing gaze scanning the orange horizon, then finally down at Butters, who hasn't noticed that he's been staring up at the blond for a few seconds too long. _"Another thing to add to my long list of titles and- Heh~ Something on my face, Butterscotch?"_

He brought their steps to a stop, Kenny digging his feet into the sand due to the sudden stop, the gentle swaying of palm leaves above where they stood, and the gentle washing of waves over to another side.

"I uh- Gee. Y'see, Ken' I, gotta tell you something," Butters spoke with an obvious stutter, eyes glancing down to the sand as he brought his knuckles together, soft knocking noises every time he banged them together.

The blond swallowed, and he stiffened when he felt a warm weigh resting on his hands, stilling its movements. He looked up, and saw that pair of pale blue eyes, he could feel the boy inching closer to him, and he could feel his face growing hot.

"I uh- I, I-" The shorter boy felt his heart in his throat, but he couldn't tear his gaze away from him. He was there, ensnared by his eyes as he continued to draw closer.

Kenny brought his voice to a quiet whisper, and amidst the crashing waves, dancing leaves and blowing winds, Butters shivered at the hushed words that left the boy's lips.

 _"It's all right, Butters. Me too,"_ the sandy-blond whispered with a short chuckle, the other blond flushing a deep red as he too found himself moving closer towards him, the touch on his hands feeling like fire. Does that mean he...

Before he could finish that thought, Butters felt weightless as Kenny closed the gap between them, exchanging sweet whispers and dumb smiles before-

"Mr. Stotch!"

The sudden yell caused the arm that propped the blond's head up to slip, his forehead banging against his desk with a soft thud, the entire class erupting into quiet laughter as they exchanged glances at each other, but all gathering at the boy one way or another.

"I- Yes?!" Shooting up on his seat, Butters stared wide-eyed at the teacher in front of him, choosing to ignore the slight sting on his forehead in favor of looking at the man who snapped him out of his daydream.

"If you're not feeling well, you can go to the nurse's. No use being sick in my class!" The bleach-blonde looked confused, his gaze wandering to the students sat adjacent to him. A girl right behind him slid a hand mirror on his desk, reading the look of blatant puzzlement on the boy's face like an open book. Everyone did.

"But I'm swell, Mister-" His words were cut short at the reflection displayed on the small circular mirror. It was him, for sure, but instead of the expected red spot on his forehead, the entirety of his face was completely flushed, all the way to his ears.

"W-wait, I'm not sick, I was just- Ah-" Butters touched his neck, warm, but he didn't feel sick though is heart was racing and he was out of breath. He can't lie about being sick, his parents would ground him. _But I can't tell 'em about..._

"Should I call your parents then, young man?" The teacher offered, the rest of the class brought to a low fit of laughter when the blond quickly brought his knuckles together, knocking them against each other, nervous at the thought of his parents knowing.

"N-no, sir! I-"

"Then pay attention or get out!" The class stifled their noise gradually as the teacher went back to the front to continue his lesson, but again, Butters couldn't bring himself to listen. This has been the third time today he's daydreamed in class, and the umpteenth time this past few weeks.

Letting one's imagination when classes get too boring would be fine, but- It was _what he daydreamed_ was the problem.

For the most part it had been a memory. The warm sand, the swaying trees and soothing sounds of waves washing up on the shore. That short moment of bliss away from the madness to rest and unwind.

And Kenny was there too, he wouldn't have gotten there in the first place if the blond hadn't come after him at the airport, then on the plane to Hawaii, then singlehandedly helping the natives secure their place on the islands. He didn't need to, but he did all of that. _For me..._

This was where his mind began to take _imaginative liberties_ to the memory. It always stopped before its climax, but the buildup was always the same. The aching anxiety in his heart, the stutters that rendered him an incomprehensible mess, and a whispered answer to a question Butters didn't know, but thinking about the warmth of the hand that held his on the airport, when they first touched down, then finally in the daydream made the pesky butterflies in his stomach flutter excitedly, stirred by _something_ he wasn't sure.

It was scary, the blond admitted, but he didn't want to tell anybody, especially his parents. It was either being made fun of or getting grounded again.

He could talk to Kenny about it, but just the mere thought of the sandy-blond caused his chest to tighten painfully, and pain caused the boy to do things he doesn't mean to.

"Mr. Stotch, one more distraction and I'm going to have to send you to detention!" Again, the loud booming voice brought Butters back to the real world, his eyes dancing until registering the sight of him repeatedly tapping his tabletop, he quickly drew his hands away, shoving them in his pockets. "Ah, sorry sir…"

It hasn't even been noon yet, and he's already close to getting in trouble.

_It's getting worse._

* * *

 

The rest of the morning periods didn't go favorably for the bleach-blond boy. During Chemistry class, he almost burned down the classroom by accidentally turning up the Bunsen burner too high, he was caught daydreaming again in literature class, and he finally got detention on the last period before lunch break.

 _Warm, soft sand, and that smile-_ Butters shook his head violently, clutching the book against his chest tighter as he made his way to his locker. These thoughts have been plaguing him for the past three of so weeks no, but never have they gotten this bad that he's been having lapses in his memory because of it. Present perception replaced with projections of his imagination.

"Get a hold of yourself, Butters!" Giving himself a pep talk, he stopped at his locker, passing students bumping into his backpack as they go past, giving him difficulty in rummaging around his pocket for the key. Finally producing the key, dropping pieces of lint and crushed up paper when he took his hand out of his pocket, a few failures graced his attempts until he slipped the key in the hole, unlocking his locker door to put his books back in place.

"Ah, gee- I sure hope Ken' doesn't know-" He spoke loudly to himself, even by his lonesome his stutters persisted, but he didn't feel self-conscious about it if the boy was alone.

"Don't tell Ken' what, Butter-biscuit?" The sudden voice nearly made the short blond jump out of his skin, dropping the small textbook he had in his hands, clacking on the floor at his feet.

"Ah! Oh- I'm sorry, I didn't mean- K-Ken'?!"

"That's me~" Kenny hummed with a grin, bending down to pick up the fallen book while Butters fell stiff, eyes completely set on the orange-clad boy.

"Damn, you coming down with a fever or somethin', Leo? You're looking a bit red," he pointed out with a curious quirk of his eyebrow, that passive grin he always wore tacked routinely on his face.

It's been years since that memory, years since the two blonds journeyed to Hawaii and had the time of peace and relaxation to themselves, and the natives who lived there.

Elementary schools were simpler times, the boy admitted. High School was just a big ol' mess and a half, as Butters liked to refer.

"O-oh, I'm okay, Ken! Just uh..." _Think, Butters, think!_ "I ah- ate something spicy! Y-yeah, real' hot." The shorter blond attempted to bluff with a nervous laugh, the taller boy stayed his look whilst he carelessly placed the boy's textbook back in his locker, Butters didn't care either, seeing he quickly snapped the locker door shut as soon as Kenny plopped the book inside.

"Spicy, huh? Hmmm~" The sandy-blond surveyed him from his head to his toes. Through the years, Butters didn't grow much height, ending up being one of the shortest boys in his batch, only taller than Tweek Tweak and another pair of names the blond couldn't remember at the top of his head right now. For his appearance, he didn't look to have changed much aside from the mandatory maturity, his features although good was t quite as defined, and his body wasn't muscular in the slightest.

A good word that had been used to describe Butters was _"pretty,"_ and considering he was a dude, many congratulated him on managing to trick Clyde into thinking the bleach-blond was a girl during a costume party at Token's house a few years back. _Marjorine_ livened up that party, and a smile crawled on Butters' face when he remembered dancing with Kenny, triggering the chain of events that got him in a spare bedroom with Clyde on Token's second floor.

 _Kenny was a good dancer~... Ah!_ "D-did!- Did you uh- say something?" His shaky voice cracked at the first syllable, but quickly recovered by forcing the rest of the sentence out for Kenny.

"Noo? Were you expecting me to?" The boy said with a smirk, and the blond immediately burned up when the sweet whispers popped back up in his memories again, the flush red this time caught by the attention of the sandy-blond.

"Leo, I'm serious, do you need a clinic?" Kenny dropped his smile slightly to speak in a firm tone, a vacant hand reaching over to settle on the boy's neck.

 _No no no no! Don't!_ Chanting in his mind, Butters blocked the other blond's hands as they made halfway through their gap, pushing him away as he quickly zipped up his bag, every second causing his trains of thought to jumble. "I-I- I gotta go, bye!"

Giving him no chance to object, Butters stepped past him and bolted down the hall, turning random corners to create as much distance as possible between them. What was that just now? They would always talk normally without anything happening. So why was his face burning? The gears in the boy’s head grinding to a messy halt whenever the blond was right there? Butters pushed his way past an unsuspecting group of students in the hallway, not bothering to apologize as he’d usually do as he pressed his back against the male’s bathroom door, a hand jittering around frantically for the doorknob.  
  
“Watch where you’re-!” He didn’t wait, turning the door open and almost falling into the room when his weight swung the bathroom door open, his feet luckily catching himself before he slammed the door shut, locking it, the click reverberating around the desolate room.

 _Wh- What’s happening?_ Catching the mirror at the corner of his periphery, Butters stumbled over to the sink, planting his hands firmly on its edges as he stared at the flushed face reflected against the surface.

It was the same reflection as the one in the hand mirror. Bright red all the way to the blond’s ears, beads of sweat trailing down the crane of his neck and the sides of his face.

“Pull yourself together, Butters! I…C’mon!” He brought his hands to his cheeks, slapping himself repeatedly in an attempt to straighten this shaking feeling in his mind, but he couldn’t slap away _that one memory of-_

There was a knock on the door, rapid clicking bouncing around the walls when the doorknob failed to open.

“Oh, hamburgers…” Giving himself one more look at the mirror, running a hand through his bleach-blond hair to return it in place, he slung his bag on his shoulders before he started out of the bathroom, heaving a deep breath and expelling it before unlocking the door and swinging it open.

“Ah! I’m sorry, the door was locked and-“

“Shut up, Scott.” Butters lightly pushed the boy aside before he walked away, shrugging his backpack straps as he made a quickened walk away from the hall, his steps bringing him subconsciously to the cafeteria, where the boy stopped at the door, peeking his head inside to scan around the room.

He knew almost everybody inside the wide room save for the freshmen students he hadn’t found time to mingle with. Sat in their usual seats in groups, everyone was at their usual spots; The cheerleading girls all sat together on one table, Kevin and Red sharing a table by themselves, Craig and _those guys,_ and a few more others who seemed to have assigned themselves to each table. Finally, Butters’ eyes landed on the table he had been avoiding with his eyes until now, the cafeteria table where the biggest group of misfits in South Park sat at, and they were currently going on around their business as usual. Kyle and Cartman loudly bickering about something that would probably blow out of proportion, Stan adding his own remarks and words to the heated fire between the two, and then _Kenny,_ who sat precariously on the bench, looking ready to just get up and leave, as he always tends to. Butters always noticed that _strange_ trait about the sandy-haired blond, the way how he’d just disappear without a trace, then manage to pop back up the moment you’d realize he was gone, and nobody ever seemed to notice. Probably nobody ever cared.

But he _did._ He never missed a chance to not notice.

“Are you going to go inside or what?” The sudden voice from behind him almost made the blond jump out of his skin, loudly exclaiming a noise of surprise that brought nearby gazes to look at the boy.

“Aw, gee- I’m sorry, I-“ Butters’ eyes danced around, catching Kenny’s gaze who, too heard of the boy’s sudden yell.

“I- uh- Sorry!” Shoving past Scott Malkinson for the second time today, the blond ran, prompting the gathered eyes to exchange looks of confusion.  
  
“What’s wrong with Butters?” Stan asked aloud, the bickering pair stopping when they heard him yell.

Kyle shrugged, “He’s been acting weird. Almost burned down the chemistry room this morning in class, you should’ve seen it.”

Cartman made a remark that kicked back the argument with the redhead, prompting a sigh to escape from the raven’s lips as he pinched the bridge of his nose, turning his attention to Kenny who sat next to him. “Do you know anything, Kenny?”

“Nope,” came out the easy reply, though his eyes were still trained to the spot where Butters recently was before, where he caught that strange look in his eyes.

* * *

 

Butters hid for the rest of the day, he couldn’t even drag his feet to class when he found a desolate and secluded spot at the back of the school.

The Goth kids were there nearby, but the discord inside him easily drowned out their music of cynicism.

With his knees tucked closely against his chest, the blond wrapped his arms around his chest, attempting to strangle the feeling inside that’s reduced him to such a mess. _He saw me make a fool of myself,_ that thought alone caused him to curl up tighter around himself. He felt embarrassed, but primarily, confusion plagued the boy. He didn’t know what was happening, everything was the same. The daydream that pulled him from reality, the flush red of his face, and the intense panic whenever-

_Whenever Ken’s right there._

Butters took a deep breath but hitched when one possibility for all of this entered his mind.

“N-no!” He kicked a crushed up can that laid in front of him, the clanging noise of the metal echoing for a mere moment before he was returned to his thoughts.

“I don’t- T-this shouldn’t be happenin’,” the bleach-blond tried to convince himself, but at every passing second, _the more everything started to make sense._

And that scared him.

The weight on his chest felt too heavy for him to stand up, so for the rest of the afternoon, Butters spent it curled up in the cold floor, knuckled bumped against each other shakily as the brisk air provided him no comfort.

Growing colder, he felt like only one thing could comfort him.

And that feeling made him consider the option to just sit there and freeze.

Butters didn’t know when exactly he lost grip of his consciousness, and he didn’t know exactly how long he had been out there for, but a loud blaring horn jolted the blond awake, his fluttering eyes greeted by a dim scenery of the back of the school.

Dim orange streaks lined the violet sky, its brightest sinking lower behind the snowcapped mountain range. It was dusk, and nighttime was setting in the small mountain town.

“Oh hamburgers, It’s night!” Finding the ground below him with his hands, the blond quickly pushed himself off the ground, nearly stumbling from the weighted fabric draped over him.

“H-huh?” His hands caught the heavy bundle of cloth before it slipped off his figure, frozen fingers feeling around the fabric in the near darkness. It felt worn, some threads were out of line, but it felt warm, and _familiar._

Butters searched for a street lamp as he began to walk out of the school, stopping at the sidewalk at the front, his half-lidded eyes catching the color of the object in his hands as he approached the light source.

Orange.

_Kenny’s parka. When did he-_

Just then, his chest tightened, his mind trying to undermine the joy in his heart that _this shouldn’t be happening. But-_

He couldn’t trick himself out of wiping the smile that surfaced across his face, and the butterflies that fluttered to life in his stomach.

Butters clutched the coat close to his chest, his eyes snapping up to catch the sandy-blond anywhere. He wasn’t, or maybe it was too dark.

 _Dark… My parents are gonna ground me!_ Worry brought his feet to life and he soon began his run home, but even the high possibility of his parents grounding him couldn’t besmirch the fluffy feeling in his chest.

He knew it was wrong, but he wished it wasn’t.

Blaring car horns, distant echoes of voices, and the occasional barking dog all passed by him as he continued to run home, his breath coming out in winded puffs when he slowed his pace to a light jog, his house coming into view a block away.

Stepping onto his driveway, he brought his feet to a stop, the boy’s gaze gravitating to the orange parka in his hands.  
  
For a moment he considered stopping by Kenny’s house to return the coat back to him, his consideration turned into a want, and the second’s thought of seeing the boy made him giddy, but troubled.

 _T-Tomorrow,_ Butters decided. _I’ll talk to Ken tomorrow._ Nodding in agreement to himself, he moved over to the door, reaching for the door when it suddenly swung open, the seemingly towering figure of his father standing in front of him.

“Butters!” Mr. Stotch yelled, his thundering yell causing the boy to shrink, “Where have you been, mister?! Your mother and I have been worried sick!”

His shoes tapped impatiently against the floor, each noise making Butters more anxious as his knuckles bumped against each other, the parka muffling it.

“Well?!” His father snapped, and a frightened noise escaped the boy. Until now he was still afraid of his parents. “Uh, s-sorry dad I- …”

Words left his tongue, he couldn’t say what was on his mind, if he did then his parents would hear about how he has been faltering in his classes and _Butters didn’t really like the basement punishment again._

“You march right up to your room, young man! You’re _grounded!_ ” And there it was, the inevitable grounding, the blond hung his head low as he walked into the house, his father slamming the door shut behind him before muttering something regarding the boy’s apparent disobedience. He didn’t listen, nor did he stop to grab food at the table, he didn’t feel hungry anyway. Not saying another word, Butters walked up the stairs to his room, opening the latches and locks on his door before walking inside, closing it behind him before he leant against the wooden surface.

Images of the sandy-blond kept returning to the forefront of his mind, making the boy go over to his bed and fall on it, reaching for a pillow to scream into it. His parents would punish him more of he’d make noise while being grounded.

 _N-no! I can’t… Not with him._ Butters repeated to himself, but the warm touch of the worn fabric entangled in his hands convinced him for a moment that everything would be all right. If the boy was there with him, he was sure he’d convince him too.

Before sleep finally took him under, the blond’s heart and mind continued their troublesome exchange of feelings and words. His mind tried to convince himself that it was just a passing thought, and ignoring it would cause it to go away, but his heart tried to convince that the warmth was real, and everything would turn out well if he’d just simply tell the taller blond.

But Butters shook his head violently at every confliction, and a tear slipped from his one good eye when both his heart and head agreed on one thing.

_He wouldn’t take someone like me anyway._

* * *

 

Morning rays of light bathed the boy curled up on his bed, who had fallen asleep clutching onto the orange parka, and a soft groan left his lips as his body protested getting up for the day.

He wished he could just stay in and hope Kenny would break in his window again.

Last night’s thoughts muddied his mind from living in the moment of his morning routines. Bathing, eating, and dressing passed by quickly for the boy, who was now looking at himself in the mirror, adjusting his teal sweater and neatly running a hand through his hair.

“Just another day, Butters. Y’can do this,” verbally hyping himself up, his eyes caught the sight of his bed in the mirror’s reflection. And the orange parka laid over the covers.

“Gee… I did say tomorrow- And that’s today.” He folded up the coat and stuffed it in his backpack, zipping it up before he slunk one of the straps on his shoulder. “Mom! Dad! I’m going to school now!” He announced as he climbed down the stairs, her mother sat in the living room enjoying a cup of morning tea turned momentarily to give the boy an acknowledging nod.

“Have fun in school, sweetie, and don’t be late like yesterday.” Though her voice was sweet, her words sounded more like a threat to the boy who was already stepping out the door.

“I w-won’t, mom. Buh-bye!” He cheered a goodbye before closing the door, taking in the brisk morning breeze before he walked to school. For a moment he considered waiting at the bus stop where Kenny would be, but something inside told him that wasn’t such a good idea, not with many people like Cartman.

What accusations they’d falsely claim made the boy flush a bright red, turning the first corner he could to take the longer detour to the school.

He muttered one of his curse words on the way there, and he hoped to some high power that the entire thing would simply blow over.

* * *

 

“Fellas! Fellas!” Heavy footsteps rang across the hallway, many returning to their conversation upon recognizing the owner of the voice. “Fellas!”

Cartman ran into the cafeteria, panting as he made his way over to the table where a bunch of his class’s boys were sitting and minding their own lunch.

“What is it now, Cartman?” Kyle asked with a groan, turning away from his tray of fish sticks to look at the brunet, who leaned a hand against the chair, catching his breath.

“Dude, Butters! So, like he dropped something in his backpack and it was Kenny’s jacket!” The boys who sat at the table turned to look at the sandy-blond, some muttering a sound of realization, but followed with confusion.

“Is that where your parka went, Kenny?” Stan questioned with a quirked brow, and Kenny simply waved the boy off with a well-timed smirk. “Maybe~”

“There’s more! So, Scott Malkinson started making fun of him and said that he’s been sleeping with Kenny, and Butters just started beating the shit out of him!”

“What?” The voice of confusion came from Craig to everyone’s surprise, who sat at the edge of the bench with Tweek.

“Dude, _our_ Butters?” Kyle urged Cartman to go on, but the mere thought of _sweet, innocent Butters_ punching Scott seemed too outlandish, but then again. _Hasn’t this happened before?_

“You’re not listening to me, Kahl!” The large boy insisted, gesturing out the doors of the wide room, “He was holding onto his jacket and when Scott tried to take it away he just started going to town on him! Like wham! Then he locked himself in the dude’s bathroom!”

Kenny quickly leapt up from the table, passing by Cartman as he made his way out of the cafeteria, “Dude, c’mon. Let’s check it out,” At the sound of Stan’s words, everyone soon got up from their seats, Cartman leading them all to the bathroom he mentioned where the blond has secluded himself in.

“Doesn’t this all seem familiar?” Kyle asked, his eyes looking to the rest as they walked. Token was first to speak, “Now that you mention it. He got angry about Ben Affleck back in fourth grade.”

“Ack! And he fucked up Scott Malkinson back then too!” Tweek added with a rushed screech, the rest nodding in agreement.

“So, either he’s mad again or he’s got some problem with Scott,” Clyde pointed out, but everyone had already stopped at the small gathering of boys in the hallway, eyes fixated on the bathroom door.

“He’s in there?” Stan asked the largest boy in the group, “Been in there for like, ten minutes,” Cartman answered with a nod, Kyle pushed past the brunet to knock on the door, cocking his head around to scan the rest around him before he did. "Uh, Butters? You all right in there?"

 _"Go away!"_ His yell was heard through the door, _"I don't wanna see nobody right now!"_ Nothing else was heard, except for the bleach-blond's yells from within the bathroom. Kyle tried knocking on the door again, but this time there was no answer. He sighed before turning back to the others, taking a step back.

"Anyone got any ideas?" The redhead asked, most responding to his question with clueless shrugs. "Okay, this is _really_ familiar," Clyde threw in the air, eyes now gathered on the boy. "I mean, w-what did we do back then?"

"Hmmm. He has a point." Token, a hand brought to his chin, nodded thoughtfully at the brunet's observation. A moment's silence passed as they remembered the events back in fourth grade. Stan was first to speak, throwing a finger in the direction of the sandy-blond in the semi-circle of boys. "The only one who knows is Kenny!"

"Yeah," Kyle quickly agreed, his eyes turned to the boy, who looked onto the raven-haired boy with a look of surprise. "What did you do then, Kenny?"

"Oh, you know~ Just went to Hawaii, no biggie," the sandy-blond said easily with a toothed grin, hiding the worry in his eyes for the other blond locked up in the room.

"So, all you need is another romantic getaway together, McCormick." Craig deadpanned, the boy under his arm nodding frantically in agreement. "Nngh! It worked before?"

"Yeah, Kenny! Just go on another gay-ass getaway with Butters and everything should be fine!" Cartman mocked with a wide grin, Kenny opening his mouth to jest when the door suddenly swung open, a red-faced Butters storming out of the bathroom, flaming mad.

With the orange parka slung on one shoulder, the boy fisted his hands in the collar of Cartman's clothes, mustering a louder voice than usual, one he'd use when he's mad. Or frustrated about something. "I just had about enough of you and your frickin' mouth! Like you gotta go and shoot some snarky comment to make yourself look better! Well you ain't! You're still the sociopath we know, and you didn't lose weight! And you're not big-boned!"

"Butters, calm down-" Token attempted to snuff out the blond's fires, but only succeeded in getting the full brunt of the burn, "What?! You gonna say somethin' real smart and find some logical explanation? You think you're some emotionless robot, don't you? But you're not! And the only feelin' you seem to be avoidin' is fear of gettin' them! That you can feel hate, jealousy, and l-!"

Butters stopped himself with an exasperated growl, turning his head to the rest of the boys around him, then finally settling on Kenny, who looked onto the scene with a mix of confusion and worry.

"I... Ngh!"

He took the coat off his shoulders and bundled it up in his hands, feeling the rush of blood on his cheeks, if he wasn't red enough already.

"Butternut, are-"

"Thanks! That was real' nice of you! You didn't have to!" Yelling out, he shoved the orange article of clothing in the taller blond's chest before storming down the hall, a few footsteps shuffled, but none gave chase. Especially Kenny, who stood and watched him turn a corner, taken aback with surprise.

"...Wow," was all Cartman could say, hands straightening the creases formed on his shirt.

"He was more of an a-a-a-a-asshole than you are, Craig." Jimmy stuttered out, even him left without much from the scene.

"Fuck off."

* * *

 

Butters' actions didn't go unnoticed, and the boy soon found himself in the principal's office, being called there once they found out about Scott Malkinson, among other things.

"Now I'm gonna ask you again, Mr. Stotch. Why did you hit Scott?" Principal Victoria asked slowly and clearly. Ever since the erection of the town's high school, the untimely removed principal of South Park elementary was invited to be the principal of the new educational department, while PC Principal opted to remain in the elementary school.

"I don't know for sure!" The blond bit out an answer, his arms firmly crossed on his chest as he looked down on the ground, thoughts dancing between emotions of frustration and _this other pesky feelin'._ "But it wasn't right what he said about Ken!"

The old woman sighed, a slow hand gesturing to the boy sat in front of him as her eyes glanced up to the parents stood behind him, "I'm sorry, but it seems like your son is acting outrageous, and we've received reports of him being unresponsive in class, and almost causing an incident in one of them."

"Butters!" His father boomed out angrily, staring daggers down at the fuming teenager in front of him, "What's gotten into you?"

"Was it fair to your friend that you suddenly beat up?" His mother added with a worried sigh mixed into her light voice, a delicate hand settled on the blond's shoulder. He shrugged it off.

"I don't really give a darn about that! It wasn't right!" Butters snapped in response, staring straight to the floor, his eyebrows firmly knitted together, his father stomped his foot.

"Do you know how-"

"How grounded I'm going to be?!" The boy blew out his frustrations at his own parents, who exchanged a look with each other before turning back to the principal.

"Principal Victoria, what did you say started this?" Mr. Stotch toned down his voice to ask.

"Well, according to what the other kids said, Mr. Malkinson was teasing your son about him sleeping with another student."

Both adults were taken aback by her answer, Mrs. Stotch shook her head at her husband's knowing look, taking her by the arm to pull her away a step back from the other two in the room.

"Stephen, you can't possibly consider that-"

"There's no other reason, Linda. Our little Butters here is...," he paused, glancing down at his son, who had still kept his gaze to the wooden floor. "Little no more. He has reached the age of Aloha."

"Eh, Excuse me?" The owl-esque principal cocked her head in puzzlement, understanding nothing that the two just said.

"Principal Victoria, if you remember, an incident like this happened before," Stephen began, his scolding tone vanished, and what replaced was a calmer voice, his words leaving easily from his lips, "But that was another matter, this time it is more... Special."

"H-huh?" Snapping out of his haze of anger, Butters turned around in his chair to look up at his father, who returned the mix of emotions present on the blond's face with an understanding nod.

"Have you been feeling _strong,_ _special_ emotions towards a certain somebody, Butters? Anyone at all?" His father asked firmly, those two words hitting the boy too close to home. _Does... Does he know?_

 Stephen picked up on his son's conflicted look, and continued, "Then it's already begun. You may be young, son, but you must bring your desired one back home."

 _W-what?!_ "I'm- I'm sorry, I don't think I really understand what's going on." Principal Victoria interjected with a confused look, eyes that hid behind those large pair of glasses alternating between the boy's parents and Butters himself.

"It's- difficult for people not of our heritage to understand. Please, Principal Victoria, we'd like an extended leave for our boy, and another student of his choosing."

"Wait, that's not how things work ar-"

"Please! It's... A cultural thing." Stephen insisted, and after a few seconds of silence the woman eventually caved in to their request, giving a sighed nod as she began to write something down.

 "Oh, all right. Just have him be fixed when he gets back, I don't want to hear another incident of a student beating another student up.”

"Thank you," his father nodded, and turned to walk out of the room, his mother following behind. "Tell her of who this- Other woman is, Butters. We'll be waiting right outside."

They closed the door behind them, leaving the two on their own, the ticking of the clock filling the silence in the room.

"S-so I uh..." Butters stuttered, knocking his knuckles together as he felt the woman's eyes boring down on him, eventually hearing her words after she took in a breath. "So, Mr. Stotch. Who's this girl you want to take with you?"

  _Girl._ That word made the boy's stomach turn in a painful way. _I'm supposed to like girls... So-_

_So why do I like Kenny?_

He had all night to think about it, but in the end, regardless of how much he denied it, it was the only reason behind _everything,_ the daydream, how flustered he'd become around the sandy-blond, and the fist he threw at Scott when he called the boy degrading names.

"...It's-" Butters swallowed the anxiousness in his throat, the words following were quiet, barely audible. "It's not a girl, Principal Victoria..."

"Oh?" She quirked an eyebrow, and the grip on the blond's chest tightened, threatening to choke his words if he didn't let it out. "P-please don't tell my parents or else they'll ground me."

Sixteen years old, and the Stotch boy was still living in fear. _I'm pathetic._

"Ohhkay?" the old principal let out a noise of mixed confusion and agreement, a hand scratching her frizzy hair, some strands had begun to grey at its end, observant eyes continuing to stare at the boy fidgeting in his seat, bruised knuckles continuing to bump against each other.

"K-Kenny..." Butters trickled the word out, his hands curled up into fists on his lap, gripping the fabric of his jeans, feeling the familiar hotness return to his face.

"Kenny McCormick?" Principal Victoria clarified, her hand writing up the two names on separate letters on her desk, watching the blond nod his head with a soft whine.

"All right, all done. I hope that your little _issue_ gets resolved, young man." Muttering a quiet word of thanks, Butters stood up from his chair before he made his way out of the room, closing the door behind him to see his parents arguing in the hallway, though their words were kept low to prevent other ears from hearing.

"Ah, Butters!"

His father exclaimed when he finally left the room, his mother wearing a worried look on her face while she mustered a smile at her son. "You're coming home with us, there is lots to talk about, come!"

He placed a hand on his son's shoulder before he began to walk down the hall, Linda following suit as he guided Butters along, the boy didn't quite understand what his parents knew, and as he turned a corner with his parents, he caught sight of a familiar set of eyes staring at him at the end of the hall. Butters took a step away from his parents to hide the growing blush on his face, but quietly complied to them both as they started their way home.

* * *

 

"Stephen, we can't! This time he _is_ too young for this!"

"You know we can't stop it, Linda! It's his time."

His parents argued in front of him, but he couldn't shake his thoughts away from what he did. Injuring poor Scott Malkinson wasn't his intention, but... He had never felt _so angry_ at that moment where he tried to _deny_ the teasing accusation that left the boy's lisping mouth.

Butters expected the treatment, but he never expected how he would retaliate. Violence was never his first choice when faced in a conflict, but at that moment, he felt like he was done with words.

He rubbed his hands, they still hurt from landing his fists repeatedly on the boy's face, and then to the bathroom wall as regret sank into his mind, it still did, and it has driven him into a deeper hole.

Oh, how he wished he could just live in that daydream. The scenery bathed in orange, and the smile that shone brighter than the sun, _all for him, and him alone._

"Butters!" His father's voice brought him back to the grueling reality, flinching at the raised voice as he expected a fist to fly towards him, _like it always did sometimes._

"Listen, son. I know it's a lot to take in, but you must not fear your emotions. You see, there comes a time in every native Hawaiian's life, after the rushing tide of anger, comes the crashing waves of love. And these powerful feelings must be nurtured in our sacred beaches of Hava'i."

His words knocked the wind right out of his chest. _W-what? I shouldn't be scared?_ Butters reeled back, taken aback at the statement. So... This was natural? It was okay for him to feel this way? The second's comfort caused the slumbering butterflies to flutter their wings awake, and a smile tugged at the edges of the boy's face.

But the next words from his father brought the stomach butterflies to settle down, returning to dark corners as the boy brought his head down.

"Your mother and I have done the tradition of pairs too, and now, it is your turn, son. Your turn to bring your wonderful mate, and together, you and her will go through the ritual of courtship in our native lands."

 _Her,_ the single word replayed in his mind, making him restless in his seat. He wanted to tell them both, the _disgusting_ truth about himself that he was sure would bring disappointment to his mother's eyes, and a storm of anger in his father. So, he decided to be silent for now, knuckles returning to strike against one another.

"You have done your first ceremony alone, Butters. Now, it is time to journey forth back home with another," Stephen pulled out the wallet from his back pocket, taking out a card and slipping it in his son's hands, giving him a pat on the shoulder before he stepped away. "Take this, your Mahalo Rewards card is still young, so use ours. Once more, it will guide you and provide all that you need."

He took a moment to pause, the blond's mother facing away as she began to cry softly in one part of the living room. "And now I must turn my back on you. You are a man now, Butters. You must lead your chosen desire back home," spinning around on the balls of his feet, Stephen Stotch faced away from his son, Linda continuing to cry quiet tears.

Something clicked inside Butters. What he took from them both wasn't a supposedly intricate and cultural tradition by his people, but an opportunity alone with Kenny. Where nobody can interrupt, and they can be alone.

_Alone, just like on the beach that day..._

He perked his head, straightening himself up as he gripped the card in his hand. At each passing second, the distant memory of pure white shores and breathless sunsets began to feel more real, and although one lingering thought wore heavy on the blond, a determined smile stretched across his features.

_He was going to back to Hawaii, where the feeling all began._

**Author's Note:**

> disclaimer: i am not from hawaii so i know nothing of their traditions, though i would love to know about them, everything i have based on are things in the actual show, aaand uh yeah, see you next time real soon
> 
> check out emmlire on ao3 too, she makes amazing works, my favorite one being six feet above ground because it's great


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